YESTERDAY WAS D.’S 41st BIRTHDAY. He drove here from Indiana, arriving in a haze of beer and emotional upset, but determined to detox cold turkey. thank God he made it here safely without hurting himself or anyone else.
Right now he is in bed attempting to put together four or five hours of sleep following a rough night. Buck and I didn’t sleep well either. We slept lightly with a listening ear, awakening each time D. walked across the floor to slide open the glass doors to come out onto the deck and smoke. When I came upstairs at 7:30, he was on the deck, very shaky, eyes a mixture of yellow and red; said he had been throwing up all night; wanted something for sleep. Said he threw up last at 5:30 a.m.
D. couldn’t eat last night. He and Buck sat at the kitchen counter with a couple of NA beers while I finished up dinner. Then we sat at the black table on the snow porch for dinner. He managed a few bites of garlic bread before dinner and maybe two small bites of spaghetti and salad. Then he went down to his truck to get the divorce action papers and throw up.
We got him settled in a guest room with a librium and an ambien (both at a doctor’s suggestion) and a movie channel playing on TV. We finished cleaning the kitchen and went to bed ourselves.
Distressing from a distance and heartbreaking up close, impossible not to feel deep compassion and grief.